Air Guitar: Batteries Not Included

As an early Christmas gift, my mother gave me this:


While this is obviously not an air guitar (maybe it’s a “there air guitar”?), I am fascinated by the kind of argument this device makes–the idea that anything that is not a “real” guitar is in some sense part of a subordinate class of guitars that may be subsumed under the umbrella of “air guitar.” It’s also funny that brand is “totes” (slang for “totally”), which makes the top line of the packaging read: “Totes Air Guitar.”

After putting in three AAA batteries and assembling the device with a mini-screwdriver, I discovered that the chords (which you play by pushing a single button) are actually somewhat out of tune. This makes playing my own songs on the “air guitar” somewhat impossible, but I do enjoy playing the preset songs: “Smoke on the Water,” “Let It Be,” “Crazy Train,” and “Are You Going to Be My Girl?”


Anyway, it’s nice to know that the gimmicky gifts in the checkout line of Steinmart are still policing the boundaries of realness by turning all that is not “authentic” into air.


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